“There are a hundred paths up the mountain, so it doesn’t matter which path you take. The only one wasting time is the one who runs around and around the mountain telling everyone else that his or her path is wrong.” – Hindu teaching
Meditation was something I tried for decades with no success, or so I thought. What I was unsuccessful at was doing it the way everyone else seemed to be doing it. Sitting uncomfortably and clearing my mind of all thoughts didn’t work. Even if I tried sitting comfortably I was never able to clear my mind. So I decided meditation wasn’t for me and gave up on it.
In my 20s I was hospitalized for panic attacks and was introduced to guided meditation. I was given a cassette made by one of the doctors on the psych ward and it was amazing how well my brain and body responded to the calm voice telling me to focus on my entire body from my feet to the top of my head. I wore that cassette out and eventually was able to hear the voice in my head and guide myself through relaxing my body without it. So I learned the guided meditation worked for me, very well, actually!
As I’ve gotten older I learned that there are other ways to focus my mind inward that are better suited to me than just sitting still and trying to clear my mind. The first time I heard about breath work I was intrigued. I did some research and found some very useful YouTube videos. I discussed breath work with my counselor and friends and have shared tips that work for me and always welcome their input as well. Here are some of the more common breathing exercises I use:
Box breathing – very simple, just breathe in while.counting to 4. Hold that breath for 4 seconds. Then breathe out for 4 seconds. Wait for seconds and inhale again, counting to 4. As you inhale you can imagine a vertical line going upwards on the left. As you then hold that breath imagine a horizontal coming from the vertical line, etc. see below:
I actually use one finger to draw a square on my palm as I box breathe. The tactile component really helps me focus.
The same with hand breathing. Tracing your fingers as you breath in and out. This one is great for kids as they can concentrate on tracing their fingers while learning to control their breathing and emotions. In fact, there’s a great book about breathing I’ve purchased for my work kids. It’s called “Breathing is my Superpower” by Alicia Ortega and is one of her amazing Superpower series of books that I highly recommend.
Of course by now almost everyone has heard of the term Mindfulness. I know some folks who aren’t into it and no harm, no foul. But for me, someone whose mind can’t or won’t clear completely, Mindfulness is the answer I’ve been looking for. By learning to recognize and give in to the joy of simple everyday moments I can get my needs filled until my cup runneth over, usually within a few miles of my house. Which is a blessing because at my age I no longer feel like long hikes and epic drives. I’ve done those and am grateful for the memories and experiences. But now my life is smaller and simpler and I like it that way. Some of my favorite mindful meditations are birdsong – especially in the cooling evening. I love to sit with my eyes closed and just listen. Walking labyrinths helps me focus on the walking while my mind goes wherever it wants to. I also love to cuddle my pup and give her a nice massage. It relaxes us both and I love the feel of her fur when I pet her. Water is a huge part of my life, creeks, rivers and the ocean. My sister and I learned how to swim in a river, were forever playing in our local creek and, to this day, still hang out near water whenever possible. I LOVE to sit in a chair by my favorite lake or creek, or at our local wharf and just enjoy being alive and outside. To me, that is a meditation of gratitude.
Another favorite is using Dandelion seed heads as a tool. I pick the puffball and sit and relax. I give a name to the center depending on what my meditation is for. When I am done I blow all of the seeds off the stalk. Last year I meditated that the center was someone whom I love and miss dearly. After I said their name I thought of words like love, forgiveness, strength, maturity, empathy, happiness, etc., and as I blew all of the seeds away I said to the universe, “If I could see him one more time I would be so grateful.” And left it at that. But the universe heard me and not long after I saw my beloved. It wasn’t any great reunion, but I got to see his face and hear his voice. And that was all I had asked for. And I am grateful.
None of these are traditional meditation techniques but they all help improve my mental and physical health. In fact, during a recent ER visit the doctors were impressed with how much my breathing / meditating helped me stay (mostly) calm while they worked on me. It gave me something to focus on AND my oxygen saturation was very good.
I remember telling a relative a while ago that I was exploring various meditation methods. They sort of smirked at my efforts and then shared their experience of studying under one master for years until they were finally approved to move up to another master. “Good for you!” I thought. But that’s not me. I’m more of a “Keep It Simple Sweetie” kinda gal. Anything too complicated just isn’t for me at this stage of my life.
My meditation life is more like a beautiful mosaic of colors, sounds and tactile components. And yours can be, as well. Don’t let anyone tell you different. Some people confuse “different” with “wrong.” We’re not building jet engines, we’re just trying to give our own “gravity vehicles” the strength and serenity they need to help us live our best lives. It doesn’t have be any deeper than that.
Peace
You can reach Irene Martin at ireneemartinother@gmail.com.
The Urban Hippie is a 60-something senior living in the Philly burbs. Still trying to figure out what she wants to be when and if she ever grows up. She welcomes all feedback and can be reached at ireneemartinother@gmail.com.