Byline: Keith Howard

Beverly Cleary created a world where goals were set, plans were made and achievements were accomplished. I lived in my own world, where boredom loomed around every corner and had to be destroyed by any means necessary, another symptom of wickedness.

Donald Trump has done a lot of dumb things, a lot of crass things, a lot of cruel things and a lot of dishonest things. Still, despite cries from my liberal friends, he is not a tyrant-in-training (although that may be his fantasy), nor is he wreaking vengeance against his enemies. I don’t think he’s been a good president so far, but he’s not evil. America is not the Wasteland. The universe just reminded me of that. Let me explain.

In short, these first memories tend to be snippets, little pieces of pre-story that have randomly stuck to the brain like sawdust to sneakers. Once folks have answered my question and returned from their fugue states, they often ask me about my first memory. Here’s what I tell them.

I don’t relate this to embarrass Larissa or anyone else who’s struggling to find a way to struggle to quit drinking. I danced that same dance for years, making a decision to quit drinking and believing that decision was the same as accomplishing the goal.

This was the tragedy, the kind of horror that usually leads to interviews with mothers and sisters of the victims, candlelit vigils and hand-wringing exclamations. Like a well-choreographed kabuki performance, the victims are remembered as saints, the families are cherished for the stiff upper lips and the incident slowly moves into the past like a sailboat disappearing into the fog.