Historically, I’ve been the guy who belittles New Year’s Resolutions, reminding everyone that New Year’s Day only marks another arbitrary spin around the sun according to the Gregorian calendar.
My point being that I was such as a stubborn, cynical son of a bitch, so stuck in his habits, that a big glittering ball dropping in Times Square would not serve as an impetus for changing anything.
This year was different. Something has changed.
I’m guessing this “something” has to do with the fact that I’m turning 50 years old in March, and suddenly that whole arbitrary nature of time and calendars doesn’t seem so arbitrary.
There is “something” about staring down the barrel of a half-century on Planet Earth that has set changes into motion for me.
For starters, in the past six months, I’ve noticed my body is now “fastened to a dying animal,” as Yeats wrote. I injured my knee running on a treadmill in late-August, and it has simply refused to heal. I’m now attending physical therapy, and each morning has become a slow parade of stretches followed by a daily dose of Ibuprofen swallowed with lukewarm coffee.
Additionally, I can now see that some of my drunken antics have finally reached their expiration date. Suddenly, standing in the backyard and accidentally pissing on my own leg while singing songs by my good friend Billy Squier to the moon doesn’t seem quite so quirky or funny anymore; it seems undignified.
And I won’t lie. I can afford to lose a few pounds and lower my cholesterol and blood pressure.
So my wife and I arrived at a decision one boozy night last summer that, come January 2025, we would pledge to attempt personal transformations and give it that old college try. At first, we titled our transformations “Project 2025,” but after Trump won in November, the joke lost its punch.
Now that title is terrifying.
We then recruited some feedback from a few of our friends and rebranded our goal as “Personal Transformation 2025,” or—as the cool kids call it—PT25. And I’m using this column to tell the world about PT25, and now Liz and I are locked in1.
Hemingway is famously quoted for saying, “Also do sober what you say you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”
So here we are. PT25 has officially launched, and I will follow this with an update in March on either our great success or abject failure.
Wish us luck.
- However, according to Article 14: Section 8 of PT25, having drinks at Chelby’s Pizza with your publisher and her husband on Friday nights is permissible. ↩︎
You can reach Nate Graziano for some of his fitness tips at ngrazio5@yahoo.com