O P I N I O N

NOT THAT PROFOUND

By Nathan Graziano

Vito, the first Pug to win top prize in the Kennel Club National Dog Show.

Congratulations, Vito—my brother in arms, my friend, my soulmate and (despite our Asian ancestry) according to our human monikers, my paisan.

For those of you who were too busy stuffing your gullets Thursday and may have missed the news, Vito the pug pulled off an epic upset at The Kennel Club in Philadelphia and was named “Best in Show,” the first pug to win the award since humans started broadcasting the competition in 2002.

Apparently, the event coincides with another holiday in America where humans celebrate genocide in the guise of friendship and family tradition. I hear they also play football, and the insufferable bore who usually writes this column lost his shirt betting on it.

Boo-hoo, Graziano.

But, for once, this isn’t about him and his whims. Instead, this is a celebration of pugs and Vito’s great achievement that finally called to center-stage the beauty of our breed.

When people think about pugs, they might think about our paradoxical cuteness—we’re so ugly that we’re adorable. They might think about our proclivity toward obesity, our respiratory difficulties due to our flattened faces.

They might think about a dog who sleeps an average of 14 hours a day, whose central waking focus is procuring food—in my case, I have an affinity for cheese.

In other words, while humans tend to idolize the yellow Labrador chasing down a frisbee, or a Golden Retriever snuggled with a chew toy on a rug in front of a fireplace, they overlook the small dogs.

So suck it, Lassie!

Buster in repose, contemplating a world where pugs rule.

My good friend Vito has ushered in a New World Order where small dogs will rank supreme. Snoring on the couch is the new fetch. We’re no longer going for rides; we’re barfing on the floor mats. If you tell us to “roll over,” we’ll shoot you a disinterested gaze and fart.

The judge George Mulitinovich said that Vito won him over with his “beautiful expression and movement.” But Vito transcends the superficial. Vito has the moxy, the swagger, the confidence that we all try to attain in these relatively brief spins around the sun.

The “Age of the Pug” is upon us. It’s our world now, and you happen to be living in it. Viva Vito! Viva la pug!

In the meantime, I’d like to celebrate with some cheese. You can send me some via that Nate-guy.

You can praise Buster or inquire about his favorite cheeses via Nate Graziano at ngrazio5@yahoo.com