O P I N I O N

BOOMER LIFE

By Annette Kurman

You think you have stories about Karen’s you’ve dealt with? 

With more people out and about this holiday season, you may inadvertently run into a “Karen” or two. 

For those unfamiliar, Karen is a slang for an  irritating, entitled, and demanding woman exhibiting obnoxious behavior in public settings. According to Wikipedia, Karen is used as a slang typically for a middle-class white woman perceived as entitled or demanding beyond the scope of what is normal. According to a popular meme, Karen sports an asymmetrical bob who is always asking to speak to the manager. 

The internet abounds with tales of Karens:

Flying during the holidays? This past March an American Airlines passenger, Karen, demanded that another passenger assigned to the window seat move so that her child could have it. She was extremely abusive, threatening to sue the airline and the window passenger, all with her kid screaming in the background. Well how ‘bout this? The flight attendant upgraded the window seat gentleman to business class so Karen and her screaming kid could get their window seat. Was the gentleman happy? Extremely! It’s business class and he’s far away from Karen and her kid. Is Karen happy? Her kid has a window, but no, she’s not happy. “That’s not fair! He (the other passenger) is the one that is behaving the worst! AND YOU’RE GIVING HIM A PRIZE? NOT FAIR!!!”

Cruising the mall parking lot for a parking space? A middle-aged Lexus-driving Karen  pulled into a parking space for expectant mothers right ahead of the five-month pregnant woman who was also going to park in that spot. Yelled Lexus-driving Karen to pregnant woman “You’re not entitled to this spot.” Huh? A group of parking lot bystanders agreed with the pregnant woman and verbally ganged up on Lexus-Karen; she ultimately drove away from the lot.

One can be a Karen on the phone. One small bakery owner received a 9 p.m. call on her personal cell demanding she provide a cake for 120 people the following day; most clients book two or three months out. (And where did Karen get the personal phone number?)

Said Karen to the baker, “You realize I am the one with the money…and you’re not. I am the one that’s hiring you…I need to have this done…it needs to be taken care of.” Needless to say, it wasn’t taken care of. 

Do you remember the Heelys craze? The sneakers with a wheel in the back of the heel so you could roller skate when you felt like it? When that was popular, Home Depot stores would play announcements telling people not to skate in the store. 

One employee was walking down the aisle when that announcement was played and at that very instant, a child decided to Heely skate as kind of a “you are not the boss of me” move. (Who hasn’t heard that before?)

The employee simply said to the princess, “please don’t do that” and continued with her tasks. Karen, who was Heelys’ mother, went to the assistant store manager to complain about the employee. Bad mistake: the assistant store manager was a retired Army command sergeant major, and he apparently went off on her for letting her kid do that. Two weeks later he was gone, not fired, but promoted to store manager status at another location. Apparently management approved of his standing up for his people. 

Karens also abound in coffee shops this holiday season. One Karen threw coffee at a shop employee, refused to pay for it, and then slapped her! By the time the police arrived, the employee had a bruise on her cheek and jaw, Karen’s name was on the coffee cup, and she featured prominently on the store’s cameras. Karen was banned from the store for life.

Is there snow in the forecast? A Karen at a U-Haul counter got into a very loud argument with the clerk about being charged for a day she had a truck but did not use it due to inclement weather. Why should she be charged for a day she had the truck but did not drive it? The employee was reported for her attitude. Luckily, her manager was supportive — and they also had closed circuit TV.

Be kind during the holiday season. A woman was on the way into a store and noticed a young mother holding two small children by the hand. As the kind person approached the door, she held it open for Karen and her kiddos. Karen took offense, however, at the kindness, berating the woman for holding open the door, screaming and cussing her with a rant that included “You don’t have to hold the door!,” “Do I look like a *%@!@ invalid?!,” “I can take the *@#)! care of myself!”

Commented kind woman: “ I was only trying to be nice” and something like, “Nice language to use in front of the children!” and continued on her way. 

Going to Disney for the holidays? Think before you do this. At a Disney World character breakfast when one family’s kids were young, an anonymous benefactor paid for their meals. They felt so blessed and swore they would do the same for some young family when they had the money. Fifteen years later at another character breakfast, they were finally able to secretly pay for someone else. 

After the waiter informed the family of their anonymous kindness, the husband was heard shrieking “WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT’S PAID FOR? DO WE LOOK LIKE WE’RE POOR? “ and so on. You can’t be nice to some people.

And finally, are you going out to a restaurant this holiday season? One Karen put her own hair in her half-eaten plate of food and then threw a fit, demanding that her meal be comped and that she speak to the manager. The employee went to the back of the restaurant and, ugh, pulled out the orange hair (with 3 inches of regrowth) from the food. Returning to Karen’s table, staring directly at Karen, she told her that no one on staff had red hair with blonde roots, but the manager would be HAPPY to buy desert for the whole table to make up for this strange phenomenon. The four other people at the table, clearly mortified, declined desert. Karen, however, ordered cheesecake while her tablemates sat and glared at her while she devoured it. 

You can reach Annette Kurman at annette.kurman@gmail.com