You can read Part 1 here.
While he never got to go to high school, Theo did complete his GED with high honors.
He also started taking classes at Eastern Florida State College and completed several of them, making the President’s List.
Thinking he was finally able to fly the coop, be on his own, he made plans to rent an apartment with his best friend, Mason. You could see the excitement on his face and hear it in his voice. He even bought some furniture for his new “pad!”
Sadly, in late January of 2021 he entered the hospital again, this time to battle a foe he had never faced before…Covid-19.
He fought harder than he’s ever fought, in true Theo fashion, bravely and fiercely, but Covid had no mercy. Not on Theo or his family. Covid affected everyone.
It’s imperative that I remind you that during this entire time, due to pandemic restrictions, only his parents could be by his side.
Though his will to live had never diminished, they knew his body, after overcoming numerous obstacles and confrontations, could endure no more and they held him close until he passed.
It is here that my eyes again begin to fill because it was at this time that Karen and I were taxying down the runway at Manchester-Boston Regional Airport on our way to Orlando International when the text arrived.
Mom, Dad…he’s gone.
But his legacy remains.
Theo was a genius…literally.
His creativity was only matched by his resilience.
Instead of shedding another tear, do something creative today in honor of Theo.
If possible, do it with someone you love.
If you’re at the gym, do an exercise together.
If you’re in the car, sing a song with them as loud as you can.
If you’re on your phone, text a loved one telling them just that.
If you’re with your grandkids, build something with them, especially with Legos.
Before I let my eyes fill with tears of sadness again, I told you that Part 2 would let you end with tears of happiness, maybe even smiles – or even a laugh or two.
While there’s no doubt that he walked a road that no one would ever choose to walk, I want people to know that he had a great sense of humor and left us with some wonderful memories, a few of which I want to share with you readers.
NANA AND PAPA MOVE…TO BRANT’S BACK YARD
After a few years of living in a condo, my wife and I decided that it was getting too expensive and decided to sell our unit. Because we still wanted to be near Brant and his family, we purchased a 32-foot RV that we placed in the grass covered portion of Brant and Emily’s back yard and we spent the three winters there.
We loved it because their back door was just a few yards away from our RV, something similar to the setup from Everybody Loves Raymond, f you get my drift.
A VISIT FROM THEO, A FIRST
One afternoon, as Nana and I were lounging in our chairs watching TV, there was a knock on the RV’s side door. Wondering who it could be, I got up and opened the door.
I was startled (to say the least) to see Theo standing at the foot of the stairs with his Mom standing behind him. He said “Mind if we come in?”
Fact is, the RV had been in their yard for some time and, though I know he had always wanted to see the inside, he had never been able to make the trek over, not even with his wheelchair.
Still startled, I said “Sure!!” and opened the door for them.
Climbing the two stairs was a little challenging for him, but he was soon inside. After glancing around, his comment was, ”This is nice! REALLY nice!”
While his surprise visit was just that, A SURPRISE, the end of his stay was even more attention-getting.
Theo was now in his late teens, moving toward his 20s. As he headed toward the door to leave, he turned and said, ”The electricity, especially the air-conditioning, stays on all summer, right?” to which I answered “Yes, why?”
His answer, “While you guys are back in NH, would it be OK if I used it sometimes?”
ONE OF MY FAVORITE MEMORIES…
It was early evening and I remember sitting in our camper when my cell phone suddenly went off notifying me of the text I was receiving.
It was from Theo and said I needed to come to their house right away!
Thinking something bad had happened, Kay and I rushed over and quickly opened their back door. As we entered the kitchen, I spotted Theo sitting in his wheelchair when he suddenly, in a stern voice said “Papa, STOP!”
Looking directly at me, worried expression still on my face, he put his hands on the arms of his chair and started pushing himself up. Slowly he moved into a standing position. Then, without anyone helping him, his eyes on the island that was in the middle of the kitchen, he walked about 10 feet and gripped its edge. He turned and looked at me saying “Just wanted to show you that all the exercises you’ve been helping me do are working!”
The legs that wouldn’t support his weight for such a long time, and had made the use of a wheelchair part of his routine, could now be left in his room. He said “I’ll be using a cane from now on, but I’ll probably be leaving that in my room, too.”
Though I know you understand the significance behind his 10′ walk across a tiled kitchen floor, but, to me, it had dramatic importance because it now meant that his legs were getting stronger, much stronger.
And I knew what was coming…
I taught high school English for 35 years, but I also taught driver education for 33, including in-car instruction…and Theo was in his final years as a teenager. Like any boy that age, I knew he wanted to learn how to drive and I also knew he would eventually be asking me a question…
“Hey, Pop. You were a Driver Ed teacher, right? So you taught kids how to drive, right?”
Long story short, lesson #1 began in the driveway of his home. When we were done, we went back into the house and Emily asked how it went.
Theo’s answer…
“Man, he’s tough! I don’t know if I can do this!”
He did. We did.
I remember being very impressed by his ability to handle the car in heavy traffic and feeling proud of the confidence he displayed. But, I also remember gulping when he said he wanted to head back to their home by driving on Indian River Road which winds along the Indian River…the one lined with million dollar homes…the one that was extremely narrow.
I also remember the smile on his face as we pulled into the yard of the Menswar home and him turning to me, grinning like a Cheshire cat while saying “Didn’t think I could do it, did you?”…and having to admit saying “No, I didn’t.”
It was then that I knew he was ready to take his driving test. In fact, I was POSITIVE he was ready.
Then the pandemic hit and changed everything, including Theo’s chance to get his drivers license.
THEO – THE DINOSAUR BOY
I remember walking upstairs in Brant and Emily’s home and seeing Theo, maybe 4 or 5 at the time, sitting on the floor by himself playing with a number of toy dinosaurs, the prehistoric creatures that fascinated him. Little did I know he was to become THEO – THE DINOSAUR BOY.
He knew the period in which they lived. He knew the exact location of where they lived, He knew what food and vegetation they ate. He knew exactly HOW they lived.
All you had to do was ask him! And you know what?
He even had his own CALL-IN RADIO SHOW. All this before he was 9 years old!
THEO – THE S.O.
I recall Theo talking about a girl he had met in middle school. Her name was Peyton and that they were going on a “date” in Cocoa Village, but needed a ride.
Anxious to meet her, we happily volunteered our chauffer service. Her grandfather was a local minister so we knew “nothing” would happen. As Theo opened the back door for her, we noticed what a pretty young woman she was, but also remembered what a handsome young man Theo was.
During the drive to the village I just happened to glance into my rear view mirror catching them in a brief kiss and realized that Theo, the Dinosaur Boy had become Theo, the Smooth Operator!
Still makes me smile!!!
VICTOR PROJECTS
I was blown away when Theo started his own company where he built a variety of items, some using his 3D printer. He became so proficient at model building that he attained the rank of Master Builder.
How good was he? A model would take most people a week or two to finish, but he’d complete it in a single day!
And one last one…
ME AND THEO AT THE JUDGEMENT FREE ZONE
I was a member of Planet Fitness both in Manchester and in Rockledge then in Cocoa after Brant and his family moved.
Getting ready to head to the workout center one morning, Theo asked if he could join Planet Fitness with me. It surprised me at first, but remembering the progress he had been making, I quickly said “Sure!”
We went twice a week and he soon established his own work-out routine. The machines he used were lose enough to the ones I was on to allow me to watch him challenge himself, and, man, did he! Even made me feel guilty that I wasn’t pushing myself hard enough, especially when I’d catch him giving me “that look.” The one that said ‘you getting tired Pop?’ followed by a smile (or, now that I think about it, maybe it was it a smirk!)
When he was done, he’d sit down on one side of the benches, sipping on a bottle of Gatorade, then strike up a conversation with others who shared the seating area with him. It made me smile because I knew we were now becoming workout buddies, and I loved it!
It got to a point that when we entered PF, the regulars would yell, ”Theo!” (a la “George” from Cheers.)
These are just a few of the many stories I could share, but I think these will “fill the bill” for now.
Fact is, I made an entire book of them, including pictures.
As the introduction to it states:
TO THE FUTURE GENERATIONS OF OUR FAMILY.
The memories I’ve shared here weren’t written for me, because I “lived” them.
I don’t need them to remember Theo because he lives in my heart.
My memories of Theo included in this journal were written for those of you who never met him.
Bluntly put, I wrote them so your kids, your grandkids, and even great grandkids will hopefully remember this phenomenal young man, too, and that he’ll impact your lives like he did mine.
Theodore John Menswar Jr. (a.k.a. “Papa”) 2013 – 2026
FROM “US” TO THEO*
We know where you are so we know you can see and read this.
Even knowing that you know what we’re going to say…
We still want you to tell you again that you are missed, every day;
thought about…every day;
spoken to…every day;
LOVED…every day.
*We know that Papa Schorr and uncle James are already with you. Everything said to you, we also say to them.
TO YOU, READERS:
If you want to share your thoughts, reactions, comments about Theo, please feel free to send it/them to me.
Better yet, if what I’ve shared has enticed you to contact another person, especially family, don’t just think about it, do it!
Lastly, don’t ever let the fear of losing someone stop you from loving that person to the maximum. We only travel this path ONCE; give all you’ve got!
- tedmenswar@outlook.com
- tedmenswarjr@gmail.com
Ted Menswar Jr. is a life-long resident of the Queen City and a retired member of the English Department of Memorial High School who has been involved in local sports for 70 years as a player, a coach, a mentor and a fan. He can be reached at tedmenswar@outlook.com