Talented, endlessly curious, knowledgeable and funny.
There’s an adage, “Never meet your heroes.” The idea being that these people will only disappoint you, inevitably failing, in flesh and blood, to live up to the expectations you assigned them when only imagining them from a safe distance.
But what if the person you meet wasn’t your hero to begin with? Known to you, yes, and a bit of a celebrity, sure, but never someone whose poster was on your wall, literally or even figuratively? Does the advice still apply?
Like much of the known western world (OK, let’s say English speaking world), I’d heard of the Ben Folds Five, had enjoyed many of their songs in the late ’90s and early aughts, had listened with curious puzzled empathy to the slightly labyrinthine lyrics of their best known song “Brick,” about a young couple going through a not-spelled-out painful sad experience. Those lyrics are a masterpiece of indirection, of cinematic irrelevant details. But one truly great song or no, Ben Folds was never my hero.
So recently, when offered an opportunity to meet him, I figured it was safe. “Sure, why not?” I said.
He happened to be on tour through the area and had a day off before performing in South Burlington, VT. He’s a big Democrat and Biden supporter, so he was planning to visit a couple of Democratic gatherings in order to (1) meet volunteers, express admiration and say thanks for doing the vast amount of grunt work required to elect a candidate, and (2) advocate for the value of the arts – in education, in general, in just about all ways. In the afternoon he made an appearance at the Manchester office of the NH Dem Party, then in the evening he attended a gathering at To Share Brewing.
I was invited to a round table discussion at the Manchester Dems’ office. I have to admit ignorance, I wasn’t even sure what Ben Folds looked like. So when a group entered the office including a couple of guys of approximately the right age, I didn’t know which was Ben Folds at first. But as we all got seated it became apparent.
I would guess there were roughly 20 people in the room, a few of whom were staff. (The other man of roughly the same age as Ben, who had entered with Ben, was in fact Ben’s staff, and had previously worked for Al Gore.) Chairs were arranged in a large circle for those invited to the event. Ben was seated in between Matt Wilhelm (NH House Democratic Leader) and Josh Query (Party Affairs Director, NHDP). In an earlier life Matt Wilhelm had done some work in the music industry so he and Ben had some common points of discussion.
Josh Query kicked off the meeting with a few words about the upcoming election. As Josh was describing Biden vs Trump in terms of good vs evil, Ben held forward his hands, palms up, as if hefting two objects to compare their weight, then he lowered one hand far down and raised the other far up.
Josh then handed off to Matt, who, after a few more statements, gave Ben Folds the floor.
Ben introduced himself and spoke briefly, then Matt jumped in as an interviewer with a few questions, and before long Ben was off and running.
He was quite complimentary to the group, many of whom were campaign volunteers and/or candidates, conveying with genuine conviction how he himself could never knock on a stranger’s door and then launch into a conversation with them about how they should vote.
He explained that he taught school for a while but soon realized it was very much not his calling. He emphasized that he was in awe of people who could do that on a daily basis.
As an aside he commented that he’s a big fan of Pete Buttigieg.
Matt asked how old Ben had been when he started writing songs. Ben replied that it had been in high school, and as he spoke you could see that in his head he was back there. He described how he hadn’t been a great student, had in fact been on the edge of juvenile delinquency, had misbehaved in school a great deal, but luckily one of his teachers had noticed that he seemed to like banging around on the piano. That teacher had taken it upon himself to get Ben more time around keyboards, and that gentle steering had the desire effect. Some record companies arguably owe that teacher some money!
Ben was quite emphatic about the value of the arts. He held himself up as an example, arguing that without his teacher’s guidance and high school arts exposure he would not be where he was today, which he described as a moderately successful small business man.
He was also passionate that we should not be tepid in our advocacy for art. We should never offer a weak statement that the arts “make everything prettier,” because they do much more that that. Having exposure to, awareness of, appreciation for the arts enhances and improves nearly everything we do, especially in the avenues of empathy and communication. The effect may not always be directly traceable in linear cause-&-effect ways, but nevertheless the impact exists.
In a discussion of how art intertwines with diverse other endeavors, Ben related how Roger Payne, a whale biologist (a cetologist) in Vermont in the ’60s discovered the previously unknown sounds made by whales in the ocean (what we now know as whale song). Payne found these sounds beautiful and endlessly fascinating, then became a huge proselytizer. He passed a tape to Judy Collins who used it on a 1970 album, “Whales & Nightingales.” Later that year Payne release an entire album of humpback whale song, which, over 50 years later, is still the best selling natural sounds album of all time.
The point I took away from Folds’ discussion here was how something very significant can emerge out of almost nowhere because someone involved has even a modicum of artistic leaning, or considers things for even a moment from an artistic point of view.
At one point someone in the audience commented on the value of stories, which was a huge jumping off point for Ben. He asked if anyone in the audience had read a book called “The Storytelling Animal” by Jonathan Gottschall. Not a single hand went up nor did a single head nod. Undeterred, Ben quickly summarized the book and emphasized that what may seem to be mere escapist entertainment nevertheless can have a value, an impact, far greater than what is apparent. It can ignite awareness in people or even inspire them to action and thus can lead to significant accomplishments.
He made a point of how he believes his arts experience has given him far more than just the ability to compose and play the piano, but has made him far more flexible and adaptable as a small business man, and given him the ability to pivot and solve whatever problem presents itself.
In discussion with Ben, someone wondered aloud what would happen to us if Trump were elected again. After a moment’s hesitation I offered that “Trump is a brick, and if he’s re-elected, we’ll all be drowning slowly.” Ben replied, “Or maybe NOT slowly.”
I’m not sure how long Ben spoke but it was a great presentation followed by a Q&A session. Today, I still cannot say that Ben Folds is my hero. But I will say that now, having met him and talked with him, he’s a lot closer to that status than before I met him. I’ve ordered a copy of the book he mentioned (“The Storytelling Animal” by Jonathan Gottschall) and cannot wait for it to arrive. So maybe you could say I’ve got a nascent man-crush? I’m OK with that. In fact, I’m probably richer for it.
Following his appearances in Manchester, Ben was to perform the next evening at Higher Ground in South Burlington VT, then at the following places & times….
- July 13 – Plymouth, MA
- July 14 – Westhampton Beach, NY
- July 16 – Nashville, IN
- July 17 – Lexington, KY
- July 18 – Knoxville, TN
For more tour info, see Ben’s website here.