O P I N I O N
NOT THAT PROFOUND
By Nathan Graziano
Like many of my fellow Gen X’ers, I once watched the 1996 film “Swingers,” starring Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau, with religious fervor.
For those unfamiliar with the indie-classic, it follows a struggling comedian named Mike (Jon Favreau) who has moved from New York City to Los Angeles to make it in show business. Once he moved to the West Coast, however, Mike’s girlfriend of six years dumped him for another guy, sending Mike into a six-month “Will I ever get laid again?” tailspin.
So Mike seeks out the counsel of his playboy buddies, Trent (Vince Vaughn) and Sue (Patrick Van Horn), as well as some sage advice from his friend Rob (Ron Livingston), while trying to get his groove—or his girlfriend—back while residing in the City of Lights.
While some of the film’s more misogynistic jokes haven’t aged well, “Swingers” remains one of my personal favorite films. Before we were both married, my buddy Jon and I lived in an apartment on Blodget Street, where we watched “Swingers” on VHS and slung one-liners at each other with regularity.
“You’re money, baby,” I would say to Jon, or “I’m going to make Wayne Gretzky’s head bleed for Super Fan Number 99 over here.” And Jon would say, “You know, you got these claws and you’re staring at these claws and you’re thinking to yourself, and with these claws you’re thinking, How am I supposed to kill this bunny? How am I supposed to kill this bunny?”
And so on, and so forth.
Recently, my wife and I decided to try and be festive and look for a Christmas movie to watch together that didn’t involve some New York City power broker returning to his podunk Midwestern hometown for Christmas and falling in love with a kindergarten teacher who is putting on a Nativity play.
However, while searching through the streaming services for a Christmas movie, something occurred to me that, for whatever reason, had never occurred to me before.
My revelation: Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau both made a plethora of crappy Christmas films in a five-year window from 2003-2008. Somehow the stars of one of my favorite films had gone from partying like legends and swing-dancing with Heather Graham to Christmas honks.
I first noted Favreau’s 2003 film, “Elf,” which he directed and played a bit-role as a doctor. It stars Will Farrell as Buddy the Elf and James Caan1 as his father, Walter Hobbs.
“Elf” is objectively the best of the bunch here. Despite the fact that AMC plays the movie— edited for television—on a 24-hour loop with “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” starting on Dec. 1 and never ending, “Elf” manages to steal its share of laughs, which balances out the cringier moments.
Vaughn, meanwhile, starred in the titular role of 2007’s “Fred Claus,” where he plays Santa’s (Paul Giamatti) black sheep brother. With a cast that would lead most viewers to believe that it could be a salveable film, it still, somehow, manages to blow reindeer chunks.
While Vaughn tries to play the same cool, handsome, quick-witted character that he plays in “Swingers” and “Dodgeball” and “Wedding Crashers,” he’s still only Santa’s brother in “Fred Claus,” and even having a girlfriend as gorgeous as Rachel Weisz doesn’t save this Christmas-misfire from being a viscerally embarrassing film.
Finally, I noticed Vaughn and Favreau joining forces, once again, in what might be the worst Christmas film on this side of the Hallmark Channel.
“Four Christmases,” released in 2008, and co-starring Reese Witherspoon as Kate, Vaughn’s character Brad’s girlfriend, is utterly unwatchable. Favreau joins the danse macabre as Brad’s younger brother Denver, an MMA fighter with a mohawk, and this is the highlight of the film.
Nothing short of being strapped to a chair, with lid speculas holding my eyes open, could keep me in a room when “Four Christmases” is airing.
So there it is, my ghastly little seasonal epiphany. I suppose it’s true: You can either die a “Swinger,” or live long enough to see yourself become a Christmas character.
But, hey, you’re still money, baby.
- Caan’s role as Sonny Corleone has earned him a lifetime of respect from me. I will speak no ill of the man. ↩︎
You can reach Nate Graziano at ngrazio5@yahoo.com