O P I N I O N
Lizard Think
By Izzy DelOrfano
Now that I’ve been writing for the Ink Link for a few weeks, I occasionally get recognized in public, or people that I know mention that they’ve read something I wrote. This week, I also started a new job. For some reason, I’m mortified at the idea that my new coworkers find out that I’m a writer, which is a new feeling for me.
For most of my adult life, I’ve been pretty outgoing, especially at work. I can’t stand the idea of not at least trying to make friends with my coworkers. If we have to be stuck in a building together for hours every week, I’m going to try to talk to you. I usually work in customer-facing jobs and I’m rather proud of my ability to generate regulars. I also spend a lot of time outside and I try to always talk to people if they approach me. I’ve never been shy about talking to people about my goals, and I’m genuinely curious about theirs. I wanted to be a cartoonist and everyone who knows me, knows that. I’ve always wanted to have my work published and I’ve never, as far as I know, bothered anyone by talking about it.
But now, I’ve accomplished something. I’m a published writer! Yay! But bringing it up feels… inappropriate? This anxiety is really cramping my style, because I’ve found from experience that most people are willing to tell you about themselves more if you tell them about you. I’ve been stewing over this for a while and here’s what I think the problem is – I don’t have anything to complain about.
I think everyone can agree that building community is important, but people only seem to mention it when something bad happens. We live in dark times, so there’s just about always something bad happening, but it brings people together. No one wants to be scared alone- it’s much better to be scared with good company. And when people are angry about something, they can stand together, empowered by the strength in numbers.
I started analyzing conversations I was having with people this week, and I learned almost every conversation includes at least one person complaining about something. It could be something serious, political, a financial issue or a family problem – or it could be something trivial like not knowing what to get for dinner. I feel as though this presents a difficult problem for the future; when everything stops sucking, what’s going to keep everyone talking?
It made me think about cultural norms worldwide. In places where there’s more political unrest, communities rely on one another, and people from those places are almost aggressively inviting. On the other hand, there’s long-standing jokes about places that are largely stable, like the Nordic countries, being comically antisocial. So does the political climate being terrifying make everyone kinder? Do people who are normally already extremely inviting get screwed over by their governments more? Or is this a chicken-and-egg situation?
All of this seems antithetical to what analysts and political writers seem to believe – that when people are scared, they turn on one another, and betray their communities. I’m not well-educated on the topic, but I feel in general, my experience has been the opposite. Growing up, anyone who accomplished anything had to be careful about how they went about revealing it, just in case they accidentally came across as boastful. In college, the same was true; nobody liked the guy who wouldn’t shut up about everything he got done that day.
Online, there’s a lot of discussion over being “tone-deaf.” Most of the time I am two months behind on the current discourse and have no idea what people are upset about. I’m never really sure when it’s okay to talk about anything good. It seems like this has leeched over into real life, but I’m sure I’m not the only one.
I’d like to invite you, the reader, to brag about something to me. You don’t even have to be really humble about it, just tell me something you’re proud of. It’s the beginning of the year, so everyone’s making resolutions, and most people haven’t had time to give up on them yet. I’ll go first – I’m a writer for a newsletter I’ve been reading for years, and I can’t wait to write more.
Izzy DelOrfano is a Manchester-based graphic novelist and writer. She is an NEC graduate and SNHU student, as well as a founding member of New England Artists for Action. When she’s not selling wares at art markets or drawing comics, she spends time cooking, putzing around downtown, and hanging out with her cat. She can be reached at lizzardthing@gmail.com