O P I N I O N

LIZARD/THINK

By Izzy DelOrfano

I’m one of those people who always put a lot of value on academic success, and now it’s pointless.

I’m a college student and I wrote a paper last week that I got a straight A on. No notes. My professor left me one sentence confirming I did the work correctly. Since I’ve been back in school, this is kind of how things have been going for me.

I want to make it clear, I’m not bragging. There’s nothing to be proud of. I’ve always been a decent student, but I’m not a genius or anything. I’ve always believed that as long as I do the work and show up, I’ll be okay, and that’s proven true. But since I’ve started online school, not only do I feel no pride in these successes, but I wonder if I’m wasting my time by doing any work at all. 

I can see clearly through text that many of my classmates are using AI to write their answers. It has a distinct voice that you can spot from a mile away once you learn how to notice it. Repeated phrases with this fake-deep intensity that isn’t necessarily inappropriate, but a little weird for a 5-point response to a participation grade. 

I always have learned best from being in a room with other people, so online learning is already a little challenging. But reading through other people’s generated responses is even more disheartening than sitting in a lecture alone. 

Studies have shown that overusing AI chat bots literally rots your brain. People relying on these tools have a harder time remembering what they “wrote” about, they’re losing brain connectivity. They’re not learning anything. 

So what’s the point in me learning anything? 

I don’t want to sound morose, but honestly it’s a fear of mine to live in a world where everyone in my field knows less than me. That’s the whole point in wanting a career in something- you learn from each other, you’re equals, everyone bounces off of each other. Learning is this amazing thing. I’ve always believed if I had unlimited money I’d just go to school forever, I’d learn the ins and outs of every art, sport, language, you name it. I feel like when I was a kid, most of my peers felt that way. Everyone wanted to be an astronaut, football star, actor, teacher, veterinarian, chef, and more. Everyone hates school as a kid to some degree, but they don’t hate learning.

But now? I know how much tuition costs. I’m not studying in a field that’s going to make me a lot of money so… what’s the point for these people? Shelling out thousands of dollars for a piece of paper that you can exchange for 10-20 unpaid internships? Maybe I could understand it if I was some silicon-valley type, but we’re talking about the humanities here. You’re better off taking out a handful of books from the library and watching some documentaries. 

I’m not doing great in school, but compared to the machines, I’m an amazing student. I have the mind blowing capacity to digest information and then explain it with my own thoughts added. At this point in academia it feels like a superpower. When I was in 3rd grade it was something everyone was expected to be able to do. 

I have this distinct memory from being a little kid in elementary school where our teacher gave us some really simple problem like, “x=5. x plus x is 10. what’s x plus 3?” When we solved it, the teacher congratulated us on doing our first ever algebra problem. I remember how excited everyone was – we felt smart! We did algebra! This ominous huge concept that was way beyond what any of us felt capable of was defeated. It made me want to TRY to be good at math, even though I’m still not. But I still want to try, that’s the thing. I don’t want to ask my phone if I can help it.

There’s a part of me that’s angry with my classmates, because it feels like a betrayal. I thought we were all in this together, trying to learn. But I can’t blame them personally because there’s no good reason to. Why try so hard at something that you don’t have to? Humans are lazy and smart, that’s kind of our whole thing. Maybe I’m the dummy for not taking the easiest way forward. I’m bailing out the boat with a teacup, and they’re just getting on a better boat that doesn’t have any holes in it. 

What kind of world have we constructed where people don’t WANT to learn? There’s a constant influx of information being thrust upon us every day, and most of it is bad news. Three more bombs dropped, five more forest fires, another species extinct and another government starting a conflict that will only hurt people. Why would anyone want to learn stuff, when all the stuff you learn is bad? 

Well you know me at this point, reader. What I’m going to say is, I don’t know what the solution is. I want to fix this, I think you do too, but I don’t know how. I’d like to believe I’m doing my best by holding steadfast that I will keep doing the work myself, but maybe I’m just being stubborn and refusing change that could make everything easier. You’re already reading an article written by a real person with your real person eyes and brain, so you’re doing a good job too. 

For more reading on the AI rotting your brain stuff, here’s where I got that info from.

Izzy DelOrfano is a Manchester-based graphic novelist and writer. She is an NEC graduate and SNHU student, as well as a founding member of New England Artists for Action. When she’s not selling wares at art markets or drawing comics, she spends time cooking, putzing around downtown, and hanging out with her cat. She can be reached at lizzardthing@gmail.com