O P I N I O N
MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY
By Brian Chicoine
The week between Christmas and New Year’s Day is usually filled with advertisements, many from gyms, stating how they can help one become a better version of themselves in the new year. (I do not have a problem with gyms advertising, but find it interesting, if not predictable).
I personally do not make resolutions, but instead make realistic goals. This is because resolutions are broad, firm, often vague promises to change, (e.g. “I will get healthy”) while goals are specific, actionable, measurable steps with timelines that support a resolution. (And I make goals that are realistic, although I’m often tempted to make goals beyond what I can realistically do).
We all want to make changes, but we need to make changes beyond the usual ones that are announced around New Year’s Day. I’ll use gym-related resolutions or goals as an example. According to Nutravita, 80% of new gym members who join for the new year quit within 5 months. Reasons include lack of time, (39.5%), lack of confidence, (16.6%), too busy, (14.3%), and childcare, (10.1%). So if we really want to make changes, we need to go deeper than the simple stuff that everyone resolves to do.
As listed in YouGov, the top 10 New Year resolutions for 2026 are:
- Exercising more
- Being happy
- Eating healthier
- Saving more money
- Improving physical health
- Losing weight
- Improving mental health
- Learning something new
- Spending more time with family
- Praying more
It is totally understandable that we want to make changes in the new year. And it makes total sense to use the natural “turning of the page” of a new year to do it. But we want to make a change that really works for us, that fits our personality and goals, and helps us move in a better direction.
Sometimes instead of resolving or setting a goal to do something, we have to let something go. As painful as it may feel, we have to let go of some things and familiar ways of thinking and living in order to position ourselves for a better year ahead. Here are 5 things to Leave Behind to Have the Best Year Yet.
First, a disclaimer: I am not a therapist nor do I offer mental health counseling. I give ideas and leave the counseling to the professionals. Please understand this and refer to a licensed mental health counselor with any concerns, signs, or symptoms of mental health issues.
- Negativity
Some things that you can do to get rid of negativity include praying and practicing gratitude. Choose uplifting environments, limiting exposure to negative influences, remove toxic relationships from your life, rid yourself of bad habits like holding grudges. Focus on the present moment, engage in enjoyable activities, and be kind to everyone. Allow yourself grace, especially when coming-up short on a goal.
- Regret
Acknowledge the feelings without judgment…give yourself grace, practice forgiving yourself and recognize that you did your best with past knowledge, and learn from the experience to make better choices moving forward. Make amends if possible, pray and talk about it, and create new, positive goals.
- Unhealthy Relationships
The key is to admit that the relationship is unhealthy. Build your support system, make a safety/exit plan (especially if there’s abuse), and execute the plan. With the help of God and your support system, after the relationship ends, focus on healing. Prioritize your safety, document abuse if necessary, and understand that you don’t owe an explanation, and set boundaries for the future.
- Apathy
Apathy being a lack of interest or concern can be a sign of depression, and since I am not a counselor, I write the following, (if you are experiencing any sort of depression, apathetic or suicidal thoughts, please pick up the phone and dial 988 for immediate help, or if not urgent seek out and speak to a licensed mental health professional). You may be asked to identify what triggers the apathy, you may be told to make lifestyle changes, or you may be asked to try making changes at work or school. Again, seek help.
- Our Will
This of course involves a process of surrender, trust, and alignment, focusing on prayer, scripture, and seeking God’s guidance to let go of personal plans and ego for a higher purpose, as exemplified by Jesus’ prayer in Gethsemane, ultimately leading to a life of greater purpose and peace by trusting His wisdom over your own.
Of course, just doing these five things may not turn your life around overnight – and some people may not even want to bother with number five – but I am not offering a “quick-fix” and don’t believe that when it comes to lasting, serious change in life, there is a quick-fix. Instead the list is a way to start making your life better and offers more than the simple resolutions that we make every year.
Feel free to email questions or comments to me at mythoughts603@gmail.com.