O P I N I O N
MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY
By Brian Chicoine
I was talking to a friend on Friday, and we were discussing how everyone is different. We talked about how some people are introverts, some are extroverts, and some are ambiverts. Although I believe that everyone has tendencies of all three, people fall primarily into one of the three classifications. I myself am primarily an extrovert, but I do not always enjoy going somewhere alone unless I know somebody. But once at the event, I socialize. So that makes me primarily an extrovert with ambivert leanings? I also believe that personalities can change, at least it did for me. Growing-up I was shy, (people who did not know me in my early years rarely believe me…but it’s true).
During our discussion, I pointed out how everyone is different and that it’s okay. I told them that although it’s okay to keep to one’s self, that there should be some human connection, and that it is important. We need to be happy with who we are and not try to be who we are not. We need not compare ourselves to others because it does not help us, and in fact it can harm us.
It is okay to be different. Many people want to be “one-of-a-kind,” and being unique is something that many strive for. So, if people want to be unique, why do so many compare themselves to or try to be like others? We know that comparing ourselves to others and trying to be like them can be draining, but we need to also understand that aside from what we feel, comparing ourselves is also bad in other ways. Comparing ourselves to others damages our sense of self, comparing ourselves to others does not help us accomplish our goals, and what we’re comparing ourselves to could be inaccurate. In addition, there will always be someone better than us at something.
We were all created by God to do great things, and He gave us our gifts and talents to accomplish what He has created us to do, and to try to do what we are not naturally gifted to do will inevitably cause issues. Our God-given abilities and gifts are one thing that God gives us so that we can live a full life. We need to “stay in our lane” if we want to fully benefit from the gifts.
In her book “Killing Comparison,” Nona Jones writes, “Comparison makes what never mattered before the thing that matters most.” As Nona wrote, we tend to put that thing that we are comparing front and center. This can consume our life of joy, and leads us to believe that we are somehow inferior because we have different abilities than others. Further, in his first letter to the Christian Church in Corinth, Paul of Tarsus, (aka the Apostle Paul), wrote that God’s Holy Spirit gives us Gifts as He chooses.
We need to understand and live by the fact that everyone is different, and that we are each given unique gifts. We are not all the same and therefore may not have the same gifting as someone else. So let’s develop those gifts and use them instead of comparing ourselves to others or trying to do things that we are not gifted to do.
As always, feel free to contact me with comments by sending an email to mythoughts603@gmail.com.