O P I N I O N
NOT THAT PROFOUND
By Nathan Graziano
Spoiler alert: It’s us!
About a month ago, my son officially moved to Rhode Island to attend the Providence Fire Academy, making it the first time in the 24 years that my wife and I have been together that we don’t have a child living in the house with us.
When I met Liz in 2001, my now-stepdaughter was already living with her, then we had our daughter in 2003, followed by our son in 2005. The kids left in the same order. My stepdaughter flew the coop around the time she graduated high school and never looked back. She now has a family and owns her own home.
My daughter left for Boston College in 2021 and now lives in Brighton with her boyfriend, and—as aforementioned—my son recently left to join the fire department in Providence, R.I., and will likely be residing in my old stomping grounds1 for the foreseeable future.
This means that Liz and I have the whole damn house to ourselves. All of it. No kids. Of course, we share space with Buster the Existential Pug, but Buster isn’t a demanding house guest. All he needs is cheese2, a place to sleep and someone to take him outside.
So how is it living in the empty nest? I’m glad you asked.
If I’m going to be completely honest, I absolutely love it. My wife, however, doesn’t necessarily share my exuberance.
The other day, we were making dinner in the quiet kitchen with soothing Christmas music playing from the living room, the daylight softly seeping out of the late afternoon, and Liz sighed, the type of loud sigh that usually precedes some type of a conversation.
“Do you ever miss having the kids around?” she asked.
“No.”
“I do,” she said, and I looked at her as if she had a third arm growing from her forehead. While I can understand missing the kids—and sometimes I certainly miss them—I don’t miss “having the kids around.”
All of our kids are adults now, and generally speaking, it is difficult sharing space with other adults, particularly for people who are more private and introverted—like me. Of course, sometimes we have no choice in the matter, and our American culture has certainly limited the choices for young people today.
With the cost of living rising and the obscene cost of housing, added to a crappy job market and insurmountable student debt for many of these kids, their options are limited, and many young people have no choice but to live with multiple roommates or move back home with their folks.
Our kids, however, are choosing to live on their own while trying to make it in the world, and that is a good thing.
Of course, if any, or all, of them needed to move back home, there will always be space, but right now, I’m enjoying the empty nest. I’m enjoying the quietude. I’m enjoying reaching into the cupboard and actually finding food. I’m enjoying having clean towels and a phone charger available.
So please welcome Liz and Nate Graziano, Manchester’s newest empty-nesters. Call us if you’d like to meet for a drink. Our schedules are free.
- I grew up Little Rhody. ↩︎
- The Existential Pug went to the vet today and he has gained 2.5 lbs since last month. It’s going to be a cheese-less holiday for Buster. ↩︎
You can reach Nate Graziano at ngrazio5@yahoo.com